Women Don’t Marry for Love in Nigeria

The major difference between African women and those of the West is the fact that in many African societies, women are under pressure to settle down. In fact, if parents train a woman, she gets a job, becomes economically empowered, the next fulfillment for the parents is her getting married. For the woman, that is the icing on the cake. So, many women who are yet to accomplish that, even when accomplished in their careers, are unfulfilled. Yes, there are talks to whittle it down; there are efforts to simmer it down; and the new feminism tonic, but the truth is that average African woman would like to get married and have some kids. That is usually seen as very successful when you are educated, have some good means of livelihood and married with children.

Then the question is, do women marry the men they love? Not in most cases. This is because women in Africa do not enjoy the luxury of waiting to fall in love before they marry or marry whom they love. Most often the man she loves may not be ready to marry her and she may not love the man she is getting into marriage with. Biology clock is always ticking.

Chijioke Ezeonwuekwe told quelins.com that women in Nigeria do not marry out of love; they marry because of other interests, which may include money, the fact that they are getting older or parental pressure. He said that some women marry in order to advance in their careers because “some jobs are not given to women who are single.”

“Women hardly marry for love in Nigeria. They are driven by other interests. They can marry because the man is ready to marry them and he has money. They can marry to advancement their career and so on,” he said.

Pulse Nigeria in its February 18, 2025 publication, observed that inn Nigeria, marriage is becoming more than just love; it’s now about financial security, and survival.

“While many women dream of a fairy-tale romance, the reality is that marriage comes with practical considerations. A stable man with a good job, a house, and future plans, is more attractive than a man who is purely romantic but broke,” it wrote.

The publication goes on with the poser: But does this mean Nigerian women don’t marry for love?

“Some argue that Nigerian women choose partners based on financial stability rather than deep emotional connection. Others believe that love and stability can exist together, and a woman simply wants to feel secure in her relationship.

Pulse Nigeria also observed that in Nigerian culture, marriage is more than just two people in love, it’s a family and societal expectation. A woman is raised with themindset that she must “marry well.” This doesn’t just mean finding a loving man; itmeans finding a responsible provider.

“From  a young age, many Nigerian women are told that a man’s financial standing isjust as important as his character. Parents, aunties, and even friends remind them:“Love won’t feed you,” “Marry a man who can take care of you,” “A man’s potential isgood, but can he provide today?”

There could be a correlation between lack of love and cheating and also the tendency of Nigerian women in Diaspora and their Nigerian husbands fighting regularly and the women calling police on their husbands and throwing them out without any feeling of guilt. Many argue that if they really love their husbands, they won’t have the heart to do that.

Punch newspapers wrote that across Europe and North America, Nigerian men are increasingly speaking out about a troubling trend: wives using legal loopholes to have them ejected from their homes, gain custody of their children, and even secure immigration benefits. While domestic abuse remains a serious issue, as some women allegedly manipulate protective laws meant for genuine victims to punish or control their spouses.

DNA tests have also revealed that while some women get married with their spouses, they go to the men they have genuine love for, who couldn’t marry them, to have babies for their husbands. This shows that many women marry the men who are ready to marry them, who may have the materials resources they need but their hearts may be somewhere else.