‘Foster girlfriend syndrome’: Weird reason you can’t find a husband

As I stalked them all shamelessly on Instagram in my dark bedroom, I began to see a recurring pattern. They were all now married with children. Yep, the boy who broke my heart after high school. The farmer with the restless energy, heck even the guy I dated last year for a red hot minute. Married. With a child on the way.

Just after midnight it hit me. I was their foster girlfriend.

For those of you who aren’t aware of this new term, according to Urban Dictionary, a ‘foster girlfriend’ is a girl who dates men until they find their forever girlfriend. A girl who intentionally doesn’t want to be with a guy long-term.

As I frantically scrolled through social media profiles, it really became apparent. I had filled in time for these blokes, listened to many of their, ‘I’m just not quite ready for a girlfriend’ speeches (and said a fair few of those speeches myself) and to be fair, had a marvellous time with them before they turned on their vacant taxi light and picked up the next traveller for a life of commitment and dirty nappies.

I claim that I’ve been single for seven years, but in actual fact I’ve just hopped from one mini-kinda-sorta relationship to the next. Wanting to know why, I decided to delve deep into the case of my apparent ‘foster girlfriend’ status and really examine the evidence.

To start with, I looked at my lifestyle. It could be argued that I am terrible at texting. I don’t have much time for dating if I’m snowed under with work, I can’t stand it when a guy stays over and then wants to spend the rest of the day with me. “Thank you, yes we had a lovely time, now off you choof,” and I enjoy the cute cuddly part of the relationship minus the responsibilities.

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